FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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