i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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