thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
