When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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