I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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