I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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