My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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