All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
