I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
