Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think your dad took our porno
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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