90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
