Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
