He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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