So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
