Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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