I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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