it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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