well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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