Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
