i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
