can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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