We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You just made me feel so damn special
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
