Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
