so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
