Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize