We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
