WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
