Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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