I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize