Welp...herpes.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
