can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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