Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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