one might say we're banned from that church
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
