I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
