I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Banned from zoo.
Again?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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