I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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