No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
