why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
