I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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