doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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