using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
