i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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