i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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