Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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