I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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