she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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