Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
