Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
