Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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