Can Purell be used as lube?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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