after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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