i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
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