I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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