nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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