I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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