Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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